Her Shoes

Sometime in 1999

"Tom, I really don’t like you and you are not very good at what you do."

This was how my coachee opened what was likely our 3rd or 4th coaching call.

I was quite taken aback since I thought our first conversations had gone pretty well.  She continued to tell me that our calls weren’t of value, and she wished she had been given another coach and perhaps I should consider another line of work.

I got the full broadside blast it seemed!

After it seemed she was done and there was some silence, I was getting ready to respond when she said, “That’s what it’s like for me.”

I was still kind of processing her prior blast so it took a bit for what she said to sink in.  She asked me how I was feeling right now and I said I suppose shocked, confused, hurt and a little bit angry.

“Yeah, me too” she said.  “I didn’t really mean any of the stuff I said about you, but I didn’t know any other way to help you understand how awful this is for me.”

I said, “Well you gave me a good snapshot” and we laughed a bit. “But a snapshot isn’t a movie and you’re in the movie, and it’s not a 2 hour movie."

“It’s time to leave isn’t it,” she said.

“I think it is,” I responded.

She walked away; good for her.  She also made me walk in her shoes in a very real way, if only for a short walk.

And that was good for me.